I've been making a list of the rules of life...the ones I think are important. I searched for other people's thoughts on the rules of life and they were all crap like "be the change you want to see". Ugh. So here is a short version of the list:
1. If your friend is really wasted and passing out, lay the friend on their side on the bed, with something propped behind them. If they vomit, they won't choke and die.
2. Fake it til you make it. Looking successful will lead to success.
3. Never bet on a horse that descended from A.P. Indy.
4. If two girls are fighting and you want them to stop, yell "Dyke it out!". Either they will stop, and act embarrassed, or they'll start eating each other out. Both are good.
5. If your entire head can fit in your handbag, it's probably too big. If the majority of your body can fit in your handbag, you look ridiculous- unless you are Mary Kate or Ashley Olsen.
6. Don't trust anyone who doesn't have a checking account.
7. Never move closer to Detroit.
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
I should be doing a lot of other things, but instead, I'm blogging.
6 comments:
never put your social security number on your license.
never make eye contact with crazy people.
i like that the Olsen's receive an exemption from one of life's rules. that rules.
also, don't trust people who keep writing utensils behind their ears.
and don't take fashion/design aesthetic advice from someone who wears crocs or drives a PT Cruiser.
don't skimp on toilet paper
if you paid $22, you're allowed to touch the floor and the wallpaper
I also feel that the bigger the tree lawn (area between curb and side walk) the better the neighborhood the only exception is if there is no tree lawn but then its a great neighborhood
oh, i thought of another one:
don't ever let anyone tell you you're not fat. it will only lead to you getting fat.
always lock your car doors when black people cross the street.
Post a Comment