I sent Jen a quick email to say hi. Here is her unedited and unintelligible reply:
iam doing good with her are you kelly iam take break blog one day than iam gonna be back on blog on monday are we getting together. this summer i talk to her yeterday it was good to hear from you tell your girlfriend said hi. she moving to illinois than we are getting a house together. i hope to hear from you soon thank for writing me kelly.
To translate, she is my new bff on blogtv. Last time I signed into her show she almost pissed outside her piss bucket Then I got to be blue. That's right, I had the power to kick people out of the room, although I didn't. I'm right up there with pantha and haziel now.
I'm in Oregon right now so I'm saving up my amusing Pacific NW antidotes to write about when I get back. Tell Jen that "Kelly" says hi.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Saturday, January 26, 2008
I am les
I recently began attending the show "Karaoke with Jennifer" at blogtv, after Charles told me about her, shall we say, entertaining personality. At first glance, Jennifer appears to be a mentally challenged individual. She has an oxygen tube, wears a visor and oversized tshirts, and talks in a baby voice. Sol thinks that she might be faking it.
The first day I watched Jen's show, it was pure joy. Singing, chatting, and speculating at her genetic disorder. The second day, Jen seemed distracted. She wasn't singing much, just chatting to someone and occasionally paying attention to us viewers. The next day, she announced that she was a lesbian, and had met the love of her life. This girlfriend was a stranger up until the day before when she had visited Jen's show and struck up a conversation with her.
At first I was shocked and delighted, and then I was jealous. Who was this Blueeyedblonde who had somehow tricked Jen into being her "girlfriend" after only one day of conversation? This e-person must be some kind of evil genius to have thought of such a diabolical plan before I did. The only thing better than being Jen's lesbian e-gf is to seduce her away from said gf, which I am working on right now.
I mentioned to Jen that I would be visiting Illinois in March and that we should meet up. I asked how far Chicago was from where Jen lives and someone said it's about a 2 hour drive. I stupidly said, "that's ok, i'll make my boyfriend drive me". Charles was watching the show with me and suggested that I make myself out to be a lesbian so I said, "i mean, girlfriend". The viewers immediately jumped on the lesbo bandwagon and I was in.
Soon Jen and I were private messaging. Here is the transcript:
At this point, Jen went back to chatting in the room, but my foot was in the door as her lesbian friend. The next day I got her to give me her email address so I could follow up on when we were going to meet up in Illinois and hang out (and by hang out, I mean have a strap on orgy). I emailed her today just to say hi. The next step is to create a fake fight with my fake girlfriend and ask Jen to be my fake lesbian e-gf. I can't wait to have her telling everyone she's moving to Ohio to marry me. The end.
The first day I watched Jen's show, it was pure joy. Singing, chatting, and speculating at her genetic disorder. The second day, Jen seemed distracted. She wasn't singing much, just chatting to someone and occasionally paying attention to us viewers. The next day, she announced that she was a lesbian, and had met the love of her life. This girlfriend was a stranger up until the day before when she had visited Jen's show and struck up a conversation with her.
At first I was shocked and delighted, and then I was jealous. Who was this Blueeyedblonde who had somehow tricked Jen into being her "girlfriend" after only one day of conversation? This e-person must be some kind of evil genius to have thought of such a diabolical plan before I did. The only thing better than being Jen's lesbian e-gf is to seduce her away from said gf, which I am working on right now.
I mentioned to Jen that I would be visiting Illinois in March and that we should meet up. I asked how far Chicago was from where Jen lives and someone said it's about a 2 hour drive. I stupidly said, "that's ok, i'll make my boyfriend drive me". Charles was watching the show with me and suggested that I make myself out to be a lesbian so I said, "i mean, girlfriend". The viewers immediately jumped on the lesbo bandwagon and I was in.
Soon Jen and I were private messaging. Here is the transcript:
| JENNSTARR: | iam les my girlfriend is in here |
| lolJLHfpjSMGsdr: | i know, i heard that from your show |
| lolJLHfpjSMGsdr: | i am too |
| JENNSTARR: | u are |
| JENNSTARR: | my girlfriend is in here with me |
| lolJLHfpjSMGsdr: | yeah, i have been for a while |
| JENNSTARR: | but she is moving to my state |
| JENNSTARR: | me toto |
| JENNSTARR: | we started dating |
| lolJLHfpjSMGsdr: | where is your girlfriend from? |
| JENNSTARR: | and asked her out |
| JENNSTARR: | lousianna |
| lolJLHfpjSMGsdr: | oh that's cool. my girlfriend is in chicago, so it's hard being apart |
| JENNSTARR: | i know it is |
| JENNSTARR: | but she is moving soon |
| lolJLHfpjSMGsdr: | it's nice to talk on the phone |
| lolJLHfpjSMGsdr: | and online |
| lolJLHfpjSMGsdr: | she's moving to illinois? |
| JENNSTARR: | we gonna move in together |
| JENNSTARR: | yep |
| JENNSTARR: | to be with me |
| lolJLHfpjSMGsdr: | that's great |
| JENNSTARR: | we are getting married too |
| lolJLHfpjSMGsdr: | oh wow, that's cool |
| JENNSTARR: | yep |
| lolJLHfpjSMGsdr: | is she really pretty? |
| lolJLHfpjSMGsdr: | my girlfriend has blonde hair too |
At this point, Jen went back to chatting in the room, but my foot was in the door as her lesbian friend. The next day I got her to give me her email address so I could follow up on when we were going to meet up in Illinois and hang out (and by hang out, I mean have a strap on orgy). I emailed her today just to say hi. The next step is to create a fake fight with my fake girlfriend and ask Jen to be my fake lesbian e-gf. I can't wait to have her telling everyone she's moving to Ohio to marry me. The end.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Internet friends
Something happened a long time ago that started with this e-versation:
Pavlo2: i did see that you took me off your top 8
Pavlo2: i hate you
Wolvi6: i'm not on your top 8
Pavlo2: that has nothing to do with this
Wolvi6: it's based on where i rank on other peoples' top 8s
Pavlo2: i'm sorry you feel that way
Wolvi6: feelings have to be reciprocated
Wolvi6: i couldn't just go on loving you getting nothing in return
Wolvi6: it tore apart my heart
Pavlo2: i give you comments
Pavlo2: and tell you that i'm thinking of you when i eat taco frisbees
Wolvi6: that's true
Pavlo2: i think i might have to delete all the comments i've ever given you
Wolvi6: hahaha
Pavlo2: in retaliation
Wolvi6: don't do that, it will destroy happy myspace memories
Pavlo2: i know
Pavlo2: if you can erase any signs of our friendship from your front page...
Pavlo2: i can finish off the job
Pavlo2: :-*
Wolvi6: you never even put me in your top 8!
Wolvi6: jocelyn gets to be there!
Pavlo2: shes my only real friend on there aside from garrett
Pavlo2: because she is the person who nagged me enough to join myspace
Wolvi6: yeah but i'm not your real friend i guess
Wolvi6: i see how it is
Pavlo2: "real friend" in that the rest of my top 8 are celebrities who aren't actually themselves
Wolvi6: i know i know
Pavlo2: this is quite serious
Pavlo2: myspace is tearing us apart, rachel
Wolvi6: no, you're tearing us apart. if you put me in your top 8 i would have left you in, but dan took your place because he put me in his
Pavlo2: wasn't dan already in yours?
Wolvi6: yes, but it was a mistake, like with you, because i wasn't in his top 8. so we discussed it and he bumped one of his other friends out for me
Pavlo2: oh well, i'm done negotiating
Pavlo2: time to take action
Pavlo2: i've left 12+ comments on your comment board
Pavlo2: it will be sad to see them go
Wolvi6: yes it will. i'm sorry it has to come to this
Pavlo2: i also want you to stop using the picture of you in my glasses
Pavlo2: it is copywrited by me
Pavlo2: please don't make me persue legal action
Wolvi6: that's not possible
Wolvi6: "blue" can not be copyrighted
Pavlo2: YOU'RE not possible
Pavlo2: the image that i took can be
Wolvi6: i took that picture
Pavlo2: you did not!
Pavlo2: i can see both of you arms in that picture!
Wolvi6: i'm pretty sure i did
Wolvi6: that's the face i make when i take pictures of myself
Pavlo2: ha
Pavlo2: well, nevertheless, i am sorry that Jeff (who has left you 0 comments) means more to you than the 12+ comments i have left you
Wolvi6: i'm like number 4 in his top 8
Wolvi6: i told you the requirements, they are very cut and dry
Pavlo2: you do realize that your requirements are quite flawed
Wolvi6: not really.
Pavlo2: for it to work, you could only be in 8 people's top 8
Wolvi6: it was a ranking
Wolvi6: yes but if there are more than 8, then it just has to do with how many top 7s or top 6s i'm in
Pavlo2: what if 9 people have you as their #1 friend?
Pavlo2: you have to make a biased choice at some point
Wolvi6: yeah, but we'll cross that bridge when we get to it
Pavlo2: and i believe that my comments/viewership are worth more than simply placing you in my top 8 just because i don't have other friends
Wolvi6: you have to express my importance to you publically, otherwise how does anyone know that you care?
Wolvi6: maybe you are just a comment whore, and comment on everyone
Pavlo2: this is unfounded
Pavlo2: i think you may find that i have commented more on your site than any other
Pavlo2: i'm am sorry that this has gone unnoticed
Wolvi6: i haven't checked all your friends' sites
Pavlo2: this hurts me
Pavlo2: i'm telling Dom
Wolvi6: why don't you just put me in your top 8, preferably around number 5 or 6
Wolvi6: then i can bump someone out for you
Pavlo2: it's too late
Pavlo2: i don't want to be in your top 8
Pavlo2: i have to go now
Wolvi6: you ruined my life
Pavlo2: i hate you
Wolvi6: i'm taking you out of my real life top 8
Pavlo2: bye
Wolvi6: forever
Pavlo2: .
Pavlo2 is away at 6:05:56 PM.
So since that date, some time in January of 2006, Charles Appleby and I have been real life friends (some might even say relatives, due to my alias of Charlene Appleby) but internet strangers. He de-friended me on myspace, and removed my viewing privilege of his flickr account. He also blocked me from gmail chat.
I began to consider requesting his friendship on myspace about a week ago. He claims that this is all it will take to renew our e-friendship. Since I'm also kicking off this new blog and will want to get as many fun comments as possible, I have more motivation. Also, once Charles posts his last blog to say farewell to myspace, I'm only going to use it to look at pictures of old highschool classmates getting fatter in their default pictures. So tonight, about 5 minutes after I post this blog, I'm going to request Charles to be my myspace friend again. That is the grand kickoff for my blog. The next episode will surely be about my new les friend, JENNSTARR.
Pavlo2: i did see that you took me off your top 8
Pavlo2: i hate you
Wolvi6: i'm not on your top 8
Pavlo2: that has nothing to do with this
Wolvi6: it's based on where i rank on other peoples' top 8s
Pavlo2: i'm sorry you feel that way
Wolvi6: feelings have to be reciprocated
Wolvi6: i couldn't just go on loving you getting nothing in return
Wolvi6: it tore apart my heart
Pavlo2: i give you comments
Pavlo2: and tell you that i'm thinking of you when i eat taco frisbees
Wolvi6: that's true
Pavlo2: i think i might have to delete all the comments i've ever given you
Wolvi6: hahaha
Pavlo2: in retaliation
Wolvi6: don't do that, it will destroy happy myspace memories
Pavlo2: i know
Pavlo2: if you can erase any signs of our friendship from your front page...
Pavlo2: i can finish off the job
Pavlo2: :-*
Wolvi6: you never even put me in your top 8!
Wolvi6: jocelyn gets to be there!
Pavlo2: shes my only real friend on there aside from garrett
Pavlo2: because she is the person who nagged me enough to join myspace
Wolvi6: yeah but i'm not your real friend i guess
Wolvi6: i see how it is
Pavlo2: "real friend" in that the rest of my top 8 are celebrities who aren't actually themselves
Wolvi6: i know i know
Pavlo2: this is quite serious
Pavlo2: myspace is tearing us apart, rachel
Wolvi6: no, you're tearing us apart. if you put me in your top 8 i would have left you in, but dan took your place because he put me in his
Pavlo2: wasn't dan already in yours?
Wolvi6: yes, but it was a mistake, like with you, because i wasn't in his top 8. so we discussed it and he bumped one of his other friends out for me
Pavlo2: oh well, i'm done negotiating
Pavlo2: time to take action
Pavlo2: i've left 12+ comments on your comment board
Pavlo2: it will be sad to see them go
Wolvi6: yes it will. i'm sorry it has to come to this
Pavlo2: i also want you to stop using the picture of you in my glasses
Pavlo2: it is copywrited by me
Pavlo2: please don't make me persue legal action
Wolvi6: that's not possible
Wolvi6: "blue" can not be copyrighted
Pavlo2: YOU'RE not possible
Pavlo2: the image that i took can be
Wolvi6: i took that picture
Pavlo2: you did not!
Pavlo2: i can see both of you arms in that picture!
Wolvi6: i'm pretty sure i did
Wolvi6: that's the face i make when i take pictures of myself
Pavlo2: ha
Pavlo2: well, nevertheless, i am sorry that Jeff (who has left you 0 comments) means more to you than the 12+ comments i have left you
Wolvi6: i'm like number 4 in his top 8
Wolvi6: i told you the requirements, they are very cut and dry
Pavlo2: you do realize that your requirements are quite flawed
Wolvi6: not really.
Pavlo2: for it to work, you could only be in 8 people's top 8
Wolvi6: it was a ranking
Wolvi6: yes but if there are more than 8, then it just has to do with how many top 7s or top 6s i'm in
Pavlo2: what if 9 people have you as their #1 friend?
Pavlo2: you have to make a biased choice at some point
Wolvi6: yeah, but we'll cross that bridge when we get to it
Pavlo2: and i believe that my comments/viewership are worth more than simply placing you in my top 8 just because i don't have other friends
Wolvi6: you have to express my importance to you publically, otherwise how does anyone know that you care?
Wolvi6: maybe you are just a comment whore, and comment on everyone
Pavlo2: this is unfounded
Pavlo2: i think you may find that i have commented more on your site than any other
Pavlo2: i'm am sorry that this has gone unnoticed
Wolvi6: i haven't checked all your friends' sites
Pavlo2: this hurts me
Pavlo2: i'm telling Dom
Wolvi6: why don't you just put me in your top 8, preferably around number 5 or 6
Wolvi6: then i can bump someone out for you
Pavlo2: it's too late
Pavlo2: i don't want to be in your top 8
Pavlo2: i have to go now
Wolvi6: you ruined my life
Pavlo2: i hate you
Wolvi6: i'm taking you out of my real life top 8
Pavlo2: bye
Wolvi6: forever
Pavlo2: .
Pavlo2 is away at 6:05:56 PM.
So since that date, some time in January of 2006, Charles Appleby and I have been real life friends (some might even say relatives, due to my alias of Charlene Appleby) but internet strangers. He de-friended me on myspace, and removed my viewing privilege of his flickr account. He also blocked me from gmail chat.
I began to consider requesting his friendship on myspace about a week ago. He claims that this is all it will take to renew our e-friendship. Since I'm also kicking off this new blog and will want to get as many fun comments as possible, I have more motivation. Also, once Charles posts his last blog to say farewell to myspace, I'm only going to use it to look at pictures of old highschool classmates getting fatter in their default pictures. So tonight, about 5 minutes after I post this blog, I'm going to request Charles to be my myspace friend again. That is the grand kickoff for my blog. The next episode will surely be about my new les friend, JENNSTARR.
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