King of Kong: Billy Mitchell is a total asshole

WARNING: SPOILERS


Wow, this movie was so exacting in its portrayal of good and evil. I really wanted Steve Wiebe to annihilate Billy Mitchell's high score. I wanted him to score like 2 million points and then piss on Billy Mitchell's wife's fake titties while all the major news stations reported on it, and Mitchell sat in a corner and cried. This movie made me want to learn how to play Donkey Kong so that I could beat Mitchell's score.

Any person who's ever gotten caught up playing video games for hours, can know exactly what Wiebe must have felt when his son needed his ass wiped. He was about to get a very important high score. If that kid has to walk around with a poopy butt for a half hour more, so be it.

My favorite quote of the movie came at the beginning, from the "umpire" Walter Day. He said, in regards to why he got into video games:

"I wanted to be a hero. I wanted to be the center of attention. I wanted the glory, I wanted the fame. I wanted the pretty girls to come up and say, 'Hi, I see that you're good at Centipede.' "

I say that to dudes all the time. I'll see a guy tearing it up at Halo and it just turns me on. Then I walk over and say, "Hi, I see that you're good at Halo, want to fuck?" and he says, "Hold on, I'm about to activate the ring" or something. Then I go and fuck his friend who is hanging out, looking cool, not playing video games, able to carry on a conversation with a girl.

I loved the ending, not just because Wiebe was able to pass a million points on video, but because they did a great job of showing that he was a good person. Despite not surpassing Mitchell's high score in Florida, making crappy Christian music, not being a good pitcher, and getting laid off at Boeing, he had a pretty good life. He has a tolerant wife who didn't divorce him for playing video games endlessly, two cute kids, a decent job, and he wasn't a hatefully arrogant prick. Mitchell runs some restaurant chain and hot sauce company, bangs his silicone-enhanced fake Louis Vuitton purse carrying bimbo wife, and rocks a mullet and a USA tie. At least his parents love him. He's probably one of the most douchy real people I've ever experienced.

For example, during the Florida event, Mitchell avoids showing up except for about 10 minutes in which he does not play at all. He walks by Wiebe playing Donkey Kong and Wiebe says, "Hi Billy". Mitchell ignores him, walks about two steps away, and says to his wife, "There are some people I don't want to associate with too much." Yeah. You wouldn't want to interact with any normal clean people, some of your sleaziness might wash off.

I give this movie an A. Too bad Doris Self died, it would have been an A+